Okay here's the thing. Don't keep asking me how I am doing or if I am alright, or if I'm sad or depressed. I am doing fine and I literally mean fine. Nothing worse. Nothing better. It's just how it is.
Right now, my life isn't interesting at all. Today is like yesterday. Yesterday was like the day before. And so on. It's the same simple monotonous routine which drains me everyday before I go to bed. There isn't really much to be happy about. I mean, the same things happening again and again, there isn't anything great.
I might not be grateful enough, but sometimes when i think about this, it makes me sad within. It's not what I thought things would turn out to be like. I thought life would be interesting and that everyday would have something I would look forward to, but I guess this is just another reality check.
I am not saying I hate life. I value it and I care about myself. It's just that I am lacking that element, which makes me extremely grateful of wat I have.
To be honest, it isn't a big deal.
The biggest fear is 'What if I die this way?'
I keep jumping from a thing to another, just like a monkey jumping from a branch to another. I could not prove myself anywhere. I want to find that one stage where I could say 'This is me', once, before I die.
Everyone says they face it and that it's just another stage of life. And I am fine with it. It's just that I don't feel happy often.
