Some days I cut off everyone. I just stay alone trying to figure out what's swirling in consciousness of my brain. I listen, I speak, I narrate and I answer, yet I am not conscious of all of it. As if my brain is missing. Ironic, isn't it?
I try to indulge into the depth of those thoughts which I want to grasp. I try to swim into the ocean of music which takes me to another Universe. I try to do things I love and if nothing seems to work I try to talk with friends, with whom I share my feelings. Hoping I would come out of it. It would help sometimes but not everytime. Now, all tried and failed.
'Ilusion it is. You need some rest. You need a break. Don't think too much about it' often I do here. Maybe. I do need to stop thinking so much. Over-thinking is like a web. The more you throw your legs to come out of it, the more you get stuck. After struggling and staying with my unrealistic thoughts, I finally stabilize. I pull myself out of that mess.
"Study pressure it is. you hold onto little things. You care too much. You are too serious. You speak too less" doesn't go unsaid. I listen and I move without a reply. I'm used to it. But I don't try to ignore them.
A little secret. I try not to hold onto people or anything ever instead. Yet it happens and I fail miserably, listening to them and overthinking again.
I think about all these things and after having the regular discussion with myself, I feel better. I don't let anyone know about it. I prefer enjoying it alone. I set myself to sleep, once I find the light right inside my heart, I was looking for. Some days, I cut off everyone and deal with the mess all by myself.
You'll overcome evrything buddy! Believe in urself.
