To the ones who never understood me,
At times I felt, I wasn't enough to be someone's beloved, or maybe I don't deserve to be someone's bestfriend.
I questioned my self-worth and existence.
There were days when my pillow was my only companion and my bed felt like home. Wallowing in the bed gave me comfort, compensating for the shoulders where I longed to lean my head.
Nights were worst, as they brought back the rollercoaster of bitter-sweet memories of those bonds of friendship which I considered to be eternal. I went out of my way to explain myself and hold onto those fragile bonds which only inflicted pain in my heart.
I always thought to be with them, but when it was my time, I was taken for granted.
Maybe because too much love and care doesn't always work or maybe because I explained too much, keeping aside my self-respect.
In due course of life, I finally understood everything is mortal and has an expiry date be it humans or relationships.
People say, "Expectations hurt", but can a human exist without expectations?
Once expectations end, hope begins. Hope and expectations are an intrinsic part of our lives which keep us alive.
I often wondered why people don't understand me.
What wrong did I do?
I never got any proper answer except the fact that I felt guilty of myself.
Yes, I admit,
I am weird,
sometimes I am friendly,
sometimes I am childish,
sometimes I am rude, having one of those mood-swings and on some days, I like to bask in solitude.
But today, I am proud to be an imperfect human with flaws. I have realised that if someone ever values me, then that person has to understand me. It's just that I won't be going any extra mile, since l have learnt to let go off people and become agile. I am in that stage of life, "Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me."
From,
the girl who doesn't explain herself anymore.
