This is something l ain't proud of. I can say it's my
strength too, to stand for the wrong, but most of the time, it has proved to be my weakness.
I remember this one time, I was really angry at my mom. It wasn't a big reason, it was just that she was ranting on how was stuck on my phone. I knew, I wasn't. But, I don't justify what I did. I yelled and shouted at her, broke things around me and made her cry.
I'm really short-tempered and this has caused a lot of problems in my life.I catch a headache soon after that. Once l calm down, I regret my behaviour, but then it's too late, I can't take back my words. lt just happens in an unconscious state, and at that time, I feel it is the right thing to do. It's like a gush of blood, happens very quick and I react in a way, no one expects me to.
There was this one instance, where one of my friends spoke bad about me in front of me. It did bothered me and i became angry but after a few days I was normal again. Even though she was not close to me, I didn't move away from her but remained there for her. Some times I wonder why am I doing this. Maybe because I should not be depicted as a wrong person or should i want everyone to love me or am I really forgiving them for what they do.
I asked this question to MYSELF and i really want that answer to be the last option.
Still I'm figuring out.
I have lost friends, I don't talk to my relatives. I've tried to keep my cool, but I've lost it every time. lt's a real issue, and many are dealing with it. All these feelings and emotions, and I curse this one. Maybe, that girl would
have been with me today, maybe that friend I stopped talking with could have been my go-to person today and just maybe, I could have been a better person, if anger didn't exist. But, it does, and somehow, it's destroying me. The two inside me are fighting a war, the angry one and
my conscience, I dont know who's winning, but I definitely do, that one day, conscience will.
Cheers.
